The music academy where I used to teach moved all lessons online from March 2020-June 2021. Throughout that time of online learning, I noticed that my students seemed to struggle more with frustration and anxiety during their lessons. It was most apparent when we were working on a difficult practice spot. Students grew visibly and audibly agitated, some to the point of misty eyes, even when I had not asked them to do anything. In those moments I would often ask them to put their instrument down in a safe place, so we could take some breaths together. I asked my younger students to think of a shape with sides.  Circles and straight lines weren’t options, so it couldn’t be smaller than a triangle. Once they had picked one I asked them to take as many big breaths as there were sides to their shape. My older students were taught “box breathing” where you breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, breathe out for four counts, hold for four counts. This creates a “box.”  To keep track of how many breaths they had done, I asked them to visualize or draw the side of the “box” they were on as they breathed. 

At the time, all I wanted to do was help my students learn how to better center and calm themselves, so we could continue with the lesson. I had just learned for myself how helpful it was to take a few minutes to gather my thoughts, and it proved to be helpful for my students as well. Now, facing the return of the school year, a move abroad, the inability to have in person lessons at my own personal studio due to rent contracts, and the ever revolving door of Covid-19 regulations, I’m struck by the fact that my teaching won’t be the same as it was in 2019. It can’t be, for I am not the same as I was. More than ever before, taking time to breathe and rest has taken priority in my life. 

As this change was taking place, I started asking myself a question. While I was doing breathing exercises with my students, was that also a small form of rest?  Nya Abernathy, of The Dignity Effect, would say so. Nya is a social-emotional educator for adults. Her recent  “Rhythms of Rest” series on Instagram can be found here. In this series, Nya explores what sort of rest practices are similar to musical rests. She compares standard notational rests to a range of practices from slow breaths to intentionally setting aside regular time for resting, dreaming, or whatever rejuvenates you. These different rest practices are helpful in preventing burnout in adults, but what if we could teach them to our younger students? What if we could help them create healthy habits around practicing, performing, and self regulation via rest? 

First, a brief recap of the rests and practices Nya used in her series. She started with the shortest rest, the sixteenth note. For something so small there’s really only time for a few big breaths. Growing in length brings us to the eighth note rest, which Nya likened to the act of playing or laughing. The quarter note rest is where Nya asks people to make the time to be honest with themselves about what they need and how they will get it. Nya’s thoughts on the half note rest hit me so hard I literally needed to sit down. Naya compared half note rests to boundaries.

“Instead of thinking of a property line or a ‘no trespassing’ sign, consider boundaries in nature, in art, in music. These are places where boundaries are varied and purposeful. They aren’t just about the ‘no’ – because art and music and life cannot be binaried into yeses and nos. The boundary of the canvas is a frame for the creativity of the artist. The boundary of the sea kisses and gradually gives way to the beach. The boundary in the rest is nestled within the full musical composition.” (emphasis mine)

The whole note rest is similar to regular vacations, unplugging from work or social media, or taking a few hours off to do something that feeds your soul.

So how does that relate to music lessons or life as a musician?

How can I use those ideas to help all my students learn good rhythms of rest? For me, it looks like setting up a system to press “pause” in a lesson to take one of the short rests while also being clear about what I will and won’t do with my longer rests. I imagine my system would look something like this:

1. Creating guidelines for rests in my lessons
   1. Sixteenth note rest = box or shape breathing, with or without our cameras on or eyes open (I really did do this – if it helped the student feel more comfortable, we’d both turn our cameras off and breathe together)
   2. Eighth note rest = a short stretch break or chance to tell me a funny story/joke. This is different from the stories meant to stall in a lesson! These are stories that allow the student to reset by getting something off their mind.
   3. Quarter note rest = a strategy session without instruments. This might involve taking a bunch of notes, talking/writing about what a piece or section should sound or feel like, a visualization exercise, or a body check in.
2. Creating guidelines for rests in my life
   1. Half note rest = creating and maintaining healthy boundaries for myself that allow me to serve my students better. An example of this type of boundary is not replying to emails after 8pm and text messages after 9pm. I know my communication skills grow poorer throughout the evening and to keep confusion to a minimum I need to communicate when I am at my best. Another boundary is being clear about when I am available for lessons, and that does not include the hours after 7:30pm every workday. There are many teachers who are comfortable teaching after that time, but those teachers are not me. I am aware that I will have fewer students because of this rule, but having time to connect with other non-student individuals in their after work hours is also important to me.
   2. Whole note = taking a vacation! I will be recharged and able to teach better when I take time to go to conferences, attend lectures, read books, and relax. There is no “good” time to take a vacation when you’re a music teacher, unless you’re trying to take winter break with everyone else. And really, when the holidays are all about making holiday plans and attending a lot of events, does that count as vacation? This is why it’s important for me to take time off at a different time of the year. I may or may not bring an instrument and I don’t require my students to bring their instruments on vacation.
   3. Implement them!

I am considering using some sort of card that people can print out at home that becomes part of their lesson equipment. Here are some images that I found that I would share with my students. These cards can then be used like referee’s use flags or cards to signal a needed stop in the game. Whenever a student needs to take a rest, they can select and show the card that reflects the rest that they need. Now I know this system can easily be abused! Some boundaries will need to be in place for this to work. I would shoot for no more than two of each kind of rest per lesson. The objective is to help students learn to advocate for themselves, when they need a rest, not to prevent rest or to keep work from being done! I’ve worked with some students who would have been helped by taking it a few steps slower so that we could both make sure we were on the same page. Conversely, if it seems like a student relies a lot on using rests to get through a lesson, that should prompt a discussion to determine what changes need to be made. 

Personal rests that I would model for my students may or may not need to be shared studio-wide. I don’t think it’s necessary to announce that I won’t answer their questions after 8pm, unless they specifically ask. I do think telling them I don’t expect them to practice on vacations will happen.  I don’t know yet if that would need to be a conversation with all students. Many of them have not brought their instruments on vacation, even without me giving them permission! Finally, sometimes the best thing I can do for my students is to just… rest. I and my students don’t need to practice every day we eat. We can set aside time to recharge and rejuvenate while still working towards the goals we set for ourselves. In fact, taking the time off will probably help us reach our goals faster! 

I don’t know what my studio will look like going forward, but I do know that it will include more healthy boundaries around rest. I want my students to know that they can ask for what they need mentally and physically, even if that means “tapping out” for a moment during our time together. I hope that each of my students learns more about advocacy, analysis, determination, diligence, and perception from our time together. These are all musical skills, but they’re life skills too. 

I would love to hear your thoughts about this subject. What are ways that you’ve learned how to rest? How has that affected how you move through life? When did you learn to make the space you need to recharge?